Showing posts with label drunk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drunk. Show all posts

Saturday, 12 October 2019

Indian Wife is a Diwali Night Treat

It was about 9 pm on a Saturday night when Yashodhara and I drove up to a large house on the outskirts of the Midwestern town we lived in. The house was decked up in lights with several Chinese lanterns hanging from it. There was a big group of children to one side of the house, setting off fireworks. Watching them, sat half a dozen or so Indian women decked up in expensive looking silk saris and jewelry. I parked the car in between two others, and Yashodhara and I, taking a couple of plastic bags, walked to the front door.

"Happy Diwali!" a middle aged lady who was standing by the door greeted us.

"Happy Diwali to you too!" Yashodhara and I replied. And immediately, the air was filled with sounds of bursting fire crackers. When the sound subsided half a minute later, the lady said.

"Feels just like Diwali back home in India doesn't it, with this cacophony?"

"Sure does! I am surprised the neighbors haven't complained to the cops." I said.

"I was wondering about it too, but apparently, everyone who lives within an earshot is Indian and is at the party already."

"Is this your house?"

"No. In fact I am not even sure whose house this is. Anyway, go on in and mingle. It's a very informal party. I have to stay here and keep an eye on my kids."

Thursday, 3 August 2017

Drunk old men

Two old drunks were drinking in the pub together, when the first one says:

"You know, Mick, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with
both hands. When I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried
really hard.

By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm 60
next week and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand."

"So," says the second drunk, "What's your point?"

"The point is, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm going to get."