Farmer and wife

A farmer and his wife are having problems in the bedroom and he wants to spice things up.

They go to see a therapist who asks them what they think the problem is.

The wife says, "I just don't have the time like I used to. I'm always busy cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry and everything else. I guess sex is starting to lose its appeal."

The farmer is disheartened to hear this. The therapist tells him, "You need to mix things up a bit. You'll just have to do something new and sexy to attract her."

The next morning the wife is doing chores in the house when she hears strange noises outside.

She runs out of the kitchen and into the barn where she sees her husband completely naked thrusting his dick in and out of tractor's exhaust pipe.

She yells out, "Oh my goodness, what are you doing?"

The farmer looks up at her and says, "Well the therapist said I should do something sexy to a tractor."

Farmer and lady in a bar - celebrating

 A chicken farmer goes into a bar, takes a seat next to a woman, and orders a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"

He turns to her and says, "What a coincidence. This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."

"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating," says the woman.

"What a coincidence," says the man. They clink glasses and he asks, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."

"That's great," says the woman. "How did your chickens become fertile?"

"I switched cocks," he replies.

"What a coincidence," she said.

The Lady and the Farmer

A farmer stopped by a hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. Then he stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.

However, struggling outside the store, he wondered how to carry all his purchases home.

While he was scratching his head, he was approached by a lady who told him she was lost.

She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to this address please?'

The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there, but I can't carry this lot.'

The lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm, and carry the goose in your other hand?'

'Thats a good idea,' he said, and proceeded to walk the lady home.

On the way, he said, 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'

The lady looked him over cautiously and said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to protect me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes, lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'

The lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.'